I am – I think – the greatest wrong person on Earth… 😉 If it isn’t exaggerated, I’ll also accept any banter or criticism of me, it’s fine, really!
Danes are (they think, do you?) renowned for their banter, and one does get a lot of it. It’s actually funny, so I laugh heartily especially when the banter is on me… I still have to learn and use the fine art of bantering others.
Of course I don’t like to be ‘always wrong’ but I am indeed an easy target. I have a terrible sense of orientation and friends in several countries had their field day with me, I can get totally lost in a glass of water so there, be advised. Maps have always been a necessity for me. I’m also at a loss trying to understand the country I now live in. What’s about those Danes? What do they think? Do? What do they consider important? I don’t know… I just know that wherever I am I should go home early. True! I always forget, because in Italy one doesn’t even start the evening before Danes go to bed, so it isn’t easy at all, believe me. But Danes are early risers. Not That other countries aren’t, they just go to bed later.
Being wrong is a great learning lesson
If one sticks to a comfort zone with a like-minded group, that is – in and of itself – an alarm clock waiting to become a fire siren.
Groups beget separation and ‘right/wrong’ mindsets. Very dangerous in a time (now) where we should really unite and become One. I notice this everywhere. In politics (and it isn’t just an American thing, polarization is happening all over the world), friends of course (like-minded same social status and habits for you, easy communication with no challenges), in media – both mainstream and alternative – setting boundaries and determining what news are trustworthy and which are not, …and in many other areas.
I think we must all learn to be wrong and so be it. It can be very difficult to find actual truth, but that’s life for you. We can’t please everyone all the time, it’s of course impossible. We can and should try to be ourselves, and I had to work a lot on being such a pleaser. Beware: I’m NOT anymore! I went through hell and high waters for this, I feel it’s a very well-earned badge of honor that I’m not a great pleaser anymore, and what’s worse: I enjoy it and accept myself more today. I will still do little favors and stuff, but not to earn likings.
It’s OK not to be perfect, it really is
One grows into accepting this simple datum. Some may already ‘be there’ but many, many women are still not. And I notice this in both sexes when comfort zones are hit: they get upset, they react. I certainly did. Until I started noticing WHY. Why would someone’s opinion of me matter? Because generally speaking I was more than OK with not pleasing the bigger public. But closer people? Whoah, their opinion suddenly mattered. Until I decided to grow out of it. After all, I accept them as they are, why shouldn’t it be the same for me? The problem was indeed ‘me’. I started working on that. I can change ‘me’ and my perception of life, it’s an excellent place to start my quest for equanimity.
Once one starts accepting ‘self’ and own shortcomings, one is on the way to a better, more happy and fulfilled living
I started noticing that good friends tend to accept me ‘as I am’ (WYSIWYG, right?) Also because I can’t pretend all the time. Myself will seep through and they will notice it… And I started thinking: ‘well, if others don’t like me so be it, they’ll go their way, I’ll go mine’. And likewise I won’t chase up people I don’t like particularly or don’t feel with much. Life has become more true now.
In many ways it was already like this back in Italy, but people are more open there. Even in Milano which is a rather pent up city where one can be very lonely. But compared to Denmark? Easy-peasy. Danes like to think that they are very open, human, warm. In so many ways they are, and in so many ways they aren’t. Many are unhappy with their lives, go to the psychologist to cope, seek various coaches for more mindfulness, relax, yoga, and whatnot, and get rid of pent up anxiety and stress through fitness and running around. One must say that they really try to improve! Caring and being happy isn’t easy.
Happiness is hard, everyday work
One must notice the good things, be grateful, work endlessly to create more happiness and gratefulness, laugh more, see the witty silliness of Life, and have a go at it. After all, we are here to experience and grow, so anything will achieve this. Pluses and minuses can have equal value when used to grow and learn. Actually one tends to learn more, and deeper, if confronted with hardships, right? Because doing well and being all happy all the time doesn’t bring about this need to overcome anything and get further. One can relax into it and tends to forget it’s also so enjoyable!
Plateaus are a plus
I’ve learned that every sadness and hard time I survived and got over brought about a nice little ‘plateau’ as I call it. A resting place where things are just perfect for now and I can enjoy a little vacation.
After that, very soon, Life starts happening again and new mountains must be climbed. But now I know that, and I can focus on climbing as fast as I can, see the pain in the eye and not try to avoid it. The lesson will be learned faster and I will reach a new, nice plateau. And THAT, I tell you, is a true paradise!
I enjoy my plateaus now more than ever before.
Below the surface: What is hidden inside of you, of your universe, of your likings? Where are you going? We like to show our best behavior, but the truth lies in showing who we are, also to ourselves. And own up to it.
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